No Dogs on Beach

STOP

As I took this shot from the top of the parking garage near Saks Fifth Avenue at Westshore Plaza, a car exited the drive in the right lane and didn't even slow down, much less stop. And I was thinking, How could someone not come to a complete stop here?

He's a shrimp. Get over it!

If I ever open my own restaurant, I will have to call it SHRIMP...I'll drop the "& Co." part as unnecessary and because it'd detracts from the shrimp, which will be all that's on my menu. In a thousand different recipes and variations, but none of that & company stuff. There won't be any company to keep my shrimp happy but yours and mine. Eating them will bring them great pleasure. I'm certain. So, we drop the pretense and simply add typical and expected Florida and Gulf Coast sides such as cole slaw, sauce (if you insist), fries, lemon and gallons of sweet tea. Oh, and I guess napkins if you must get fancy. Lots of 'em, too. Now just 'cause there isn't anything but shrimp doesn't mean you'll go hungry. Just imagine a platter piled, I'm saying piled high with fried shrimp. How 'bout 18 or so. Is that a good start or what.

I better stop here before I eat the dog or cat...they are beginning to look a lot like shrimp. A little batter, quick frying and they'll do. Help! I'm going nuts. (Dr. Porter the dog just scooted under the table.) Take me to Shrimp & Company. It's All-You-Can-Eat-Night!!

Fresh and Direct from Out-of-State

At first I was attracted to the hand-made signs which I am such a sucker for. (I could easily do a photo blog of nothing but these very colorful, primitive yet effective vegetable and fruit signs.) But what caught my eye on further reading is this FRESH produce market, in the heart of South Tampa, is boldy advertising - during its Grand Opening - CALIFORNIA cherries and GEORGIA peaches. I realize these items are desirable, especially coming from out-of-state, and they are well known for, but wouldn't a FRESH produce market in Tampa have big signs for something grown locally? I bet the seedless grapes, green beans and bananas come from out of state...or even from another country. Shouldn't they be selling FLORIDA produce from their sweet little market? Just wondering. Makes sense to me. Do they have fresh, in season, Florida-grown Valencia oranges, mangoes, avocados, peaches, nectarines and, one of my all time favorites, blueberries? (I still love the signs. I just know there is a special factory somewhere churning these out by the truck load.)

How cowardly is this bright yellow sign? You're just too chicken to ask.

These carefully arranged letters, spelling out STUNGUNS, arranged so artfully at an angle, are on the side of a squat, one-story block and stucco building not located in a particularly busy location for retail. What draws one's eye to the building at all is the almost disquieting color of yellow. Whatever particular shade or tint of yellow you want to call it, whoever painted it did not want anyone to drive by without noticing his business. Forget fancy electronic signs blinking and flashing, let's get 50 gallons of hideous yellow and dunk the whole place. Yellow cabs would be embarrassed if they had to pick up a fare at this establishment. Smart, savvy marketeers those guys. No one would call them cowards when it came to their decorating sense. Brave guys for sure. The place is empty and closed up so from this sign alone my best guess is that in its most recent past - before or after it was painted this stunning yellow shade? - it was a store which sold firearms and non-lethal weapons such as stunguns. You know the device, right? Similar to early electric cattle prods, they first began appearing for their current use in the 1950's and early 1960's, and by 1976 the TASER stungun was introduced. First classified as firearms, the design was reworked and they were reclassified as non-firearm. (Nowadays I guess one could be used, judiciously, on wild, spray gun wielding painters with gallons of cheap leftover paint that roam our highways and byways painting retail facilities in god-awful colors. I suppose to catch unsuspecting consumers and lure them in hypnotically.) Selling stunguns and similar devices in gun stores and pawn shops makes sense as they are associated with self defense and protection. But from studying this one sign that is all that remains of the business, I can't think of any reason they would go to the trouble to spell out this one product on the side of the building 25-30 feet from the road. Believe me, no one would ever get past the yellow of the entire building to spot the sign. No way.

This ship's captain demands your attention

This diminutive ship’s captain stands sentinel on the corner sidewalk outside Joffrey’s Coffee near the main cruise terminal for the Port of Tampa. He’s at a very busy spot when 2-3,000 passengers are boarding a cruise ship or two. He’s the silent, non-complaining street-hawker for Yacht StarShip, billed as America’s first 3-diamond rated dining yacht by AAA. The ship sails daily out of the Channel District. The food really is delicious, the staff and crew are first-rate and it features live entertainment. It is a fun sailing experience. It’s obvious, though, who has the toughest job on their crew and it’s our little friend, silently manning his post, in crisp white naval uniform, hat just so. And not letting his sign tip or sag. It’s not hazardous sea-duty but the dust and noise, not to mention the sweet kids who knock into him all day, make his a job one would not envy…it’s amazing he hasn’t been swiped and made his way to Cancun or a Caribbean island by now as a cute souvenir. At 131 feet in length, the Yacht StarShip offers 150 passengers a unique dining experience as they set sail and leisurely cruise the beautiful waters of the port and bay – lunch or dinner. Gorgeous sunsets are the rule. They host corporate gatherings, even weddings. The yacht shares the water with some mighty big ships. The Port of Tampa is the largest in Florida and 11th largest cargo port in the United States and 16th in total trade volume; those are not low rankings. Over 40 million tons of cargo goes out of Tampa each year and almost 800,000 cruise passengers come and go through the terminals on Carnival, Royal Caribbean and Holland America lines. It is a big deal, especially when you’re standing next to the ships at dock as passengers board. And, it’s a great sight to see the huge ships blow their horn, leave the docks and make their way out and through the Skyway Bridge. Quite a stirring sight every time. Too bad the mighty little captain must maintain his vigil and miss out on the cuisine, music, dancing and crazy nightlife. It’s a sailor’s life for sure. (Go, make a break for it captain. No one’s looking. Run, captain, run.)

King Kong at your evolutionary service.

Tampa's real estate market has taken a big hit with values dropping, availability of new and existing homes rising and most people unsure of how to react...or not. While traditional houses sport For Sale (or even short sale) signs in many neighborhoods, Tampa's downtown is chocked full of new condominium towers featuring every amenity a buyer could want. It's not surprising then that real estate agents and developers of residential and office properties have gone to some extremes to attract attention to their vacancies and services. This 30-40-foot banner on the side of an office building proudly shouts King Kondo, a Condo Evolution. He's huge and outrageous, but if he can't move a property then you're out of luck. His fine white, southern-climate suit and shopping bag only slightly soften his approach. Where is his Panama hat? Next he may be swotting you right off the street. Let's just hope we turn things around and he can get back to movie-stardom retirement.